Day 40

Lying here in the wee small hours trying to understand why things are as they are for me.  My heart still feels broken and the disservice I feel the NHS has provided me huge.

When I think what there is for me here compared with what there would be at one of the longer term rehab centres I am quite shattered. Here at Cliftonville there are no facilities for me other than a dining room to go to (which I am afraid I don't particularly like) and a lounge. For any Physio all I have for exercise is the corridor outside to walk up and down; I am not permitted to go outside without an escort yet, at the moment, I am required to stay here for another seven weeks. I feel a battle brewing.

My Room in Cliftonville

If the dice had fallen a different way and I had been offered long term rehab (which I strongly feel I should have) this is what the local Tern Furlong would have offered me:

Physiotherapy and occupational therapy support are provided for older people requiring rehabilitation and there is a spa pool, fitness suite and occupational therapy kitchen within the Centre accessed from a spectacular central top lit arcade. Turn Furlong has 51 single bedrooms in total, consisting of 37 single rooms with en-suite facilities including walk-in shower, and 14 apartments with en-suite facilities, separate lounge/ diner and well equipped kitchenette facilities.

There is a small shop and hairdressing salon two communal dining areas, and a number of lounges. There are landscaped enclosed gardens surrounding the Centre.

I just completely fail to understand why I am required to remain in Cliftonville and for such a long period of time. At the moment it is the worst possible outcome. This time yesterday I was anxiously optimistic - right now that's not quite the feeling I have. The healing process is, in my opinion, an holistic one and not just about the physical side of healing (however important that may be); feeling good about yourself is equally as important.

The corridor I walk up and down

10:00 Just had a visit from a lady from the Discharge Team - she's not the least bit happy with yesterday's happenings and is taking action as we speak.  She confirmed no physio for me today because Ram, the physio, has no notes to go on for my care.  She's coming back this afternoon with Naomi the Discharge Matron, who is lovely, in an effort to hatch a plan which has a more positive outcome for the NHS and for me.

At 10:30 my friend Ray from Coventry kindly came to visit and brought some lovely chocolates.  Thank you Ray for coming and for the conversation.

Cliftonville forgot to deliver my main course for lunch.  When I asked it was delivered but it was, sadly, stone cold.

Blood pressure way up at 13:40 159/93 - I wonder why that is?  No prizes for guessing. Be interesting to see if it goes down later.

I have been down to speak to the two duty nurses.  The supposition from them is as follows:

• My notes from the Fracture Clinic appointment have not been updated as of 17:00 15-December (fact)
• The Physio cannot do anything with me because the notes don't say anything (fact)
• They think the registrar I saw yesterday at the Fracture Clinic has assumed that I am living at home and therefore is treating me in a different way to that which he would if he knew/understood I was an inmate - despite Vicky and I telling him until we were blue in the face I was in Cliftonville
• Both the duty nurses think it is a most unsatisfactory state of affairs and that I do need intensive physio so now that's two days lost. They say recovering from a broken hip is a long and difficult process and I'll need all the help I can get (and I am getting none at the moment other than a warm dry room with reasonable food)
• They think my notes have been annotated with Discharge when they should have been annotated with Transfer because I am still the responsibility of NGH and the NHS
• The reason the Discharge Team didn't come back today is because my notes are not updated they have nothing to discuss with me - I think they should have made contact and told me so

All in all not a satisfactory state of affairs either for me or NGH/NHS and I am now fairly sure that people are working towards resolving things for me but the duty nurses did say that they didn't think being powerless (as I am) suited me - they sure are right there. It seems the practice here is if there is no update they say nothing - that's not my style and never has been.

Lovely visits this evening from Rob and Mike - thank you both for taking the time and the conversations.